Life is unfair sometimes. Unfair in ways that are viscerally hard to digest.
You might experience some seriously unfair things because, in a parallel way, your soul is outsized and OP. So it requires some OP challenges.
The reality of this matrix is inverted. Whoever seems to be getting less/on the receiving end of the unfairness, has a vast wealth of spiritual resources than whoever, if it is a “whoever”, enacting the unfairness, who is often interior-ly barren and spiritually dead. Often a Wiindigo.
That is the truth of the victim-victimizer archetype.
As an example of an unfair circumstance, I realized that for me personally dealing with folks with an insane level of narcissism/psychopathy, the ultimate test and ask was: even in these extreme circumstances, could I embody a level of genuine Christ-like compassion?
Folks that know me know that I’m not about that spiritual bypass love and light culture. AKA, false light/false ascension matrix. True compassion is strong, has both meat and grace to it, and doesn’t come overnight.
(Christ-like compassion was the ultimate ask for me. If you ever are dealing something similar, the ask for you may be completely different, such as telling people to fuck off, or you might not even be meant to be going through that experience at all.*)
The challenges that come are proportional to the strength of your character, and what you came here to transmute (aka human mushroom, written about in a previous post).
Nelson Mandela, almost three decades in jail. Joan of Arc burning. Christ on the cross.
Some of us have some pretty extreme, niche contracts, and we won’t find many peers, mentors, trailblazers to say “this is how it’s done. This is how you walk the path.”
Extreme experiences, seemingly living multiple lifetimes within one life, are indicative of a shamanic signature.
We will often experience distorted mirroring from those who have no idea what it’s like to have an extreme blueprint, from those whose blueprints are (comparatively) easy, or from those who haven’t come to terms with the depth of their blueprint.
(This is okay to deal with when you recognize the difference between yours blueprint vs theirs, harmful when you don’t.)
During my process, different kinds of self-help spoke to me for what I was going through than the self-help that spoke to me in the past. Self-help from conservatives, from the Bible, and motivational videos that had a more masculine orientation. “Pick up your damn suffering, and bear it.”
Bear it with grace.
At some point I played around with an expansive perspective: that it was a privilege to be entrusted with the responsibility of an intense, maybe debilitating, challenge, the opportunity to become pressurized into a diamond soul, to become someone great forged in fire.
I was out and about one day and kept on seeing first, synchronicities of eagles. Then I kept on seeing synchronicities of the octopus, of all things.
I meditated on the symbols and what they meant. What was the eagle trying to convey to me? The octopus? I realized then that the eagle and the octopus went together. The subterranean and the sky-high. The murky and the mountaintop. Roots to hell with branches in heaven.
Combining the depth of the octopus and expansiveness of the eagle, is to experience all fractals and pixels of consciousness. As an OP soul does.
(*Important distinction: differentiating between an organic challenge that is designed to strengthen you in the long run, over an artificial challenge that is designed to destroy you. Not every shitty thing that happens to you is meant to serve your growth. The good news is that humans, being resilient as we are, often transform the artificial into the organic. There’s a lot that could be said on this particular distinction that would require a different post, but I do touch upon it in “New Level, New Devil”.)
Image (c) Morten Brekkevold