Heal and be free
Which kind of breakup is easier to get over: a breakup from a healthy relationship, or a breakup from an unhealthy one? Conventionally, you would think the unhealthy one is easier to get over because it’s like “good riddance”, right? However, that’s not the case. Unhealthy relationships are harder to
You want to get over your ex (friend or lover), but…Your ex moved on.Has a new partner.Went on a super cool trip.Moved into an amazing home (perhaps even with aforementioned shiny new partner).Seems do be doing just fine without you.etc. etc. And you just can’t stop focusing on the details
Continue readingHow to Stop Obsessing over an Ex: Get In Your Own Damn Lane
Last month I ran into a friend I’d had a tumultuous history with, a close but toxic friendship turned more into an acquaintanceship over the years. She never did smalltalk. She saw through people to an uncomfortable degree at times. She would always be radically honest about where she was
Continue readingCan the people around you hold space for the real you?
I’ve been with assholes in relationships. I’ve been the asshole.
It was all basically a result of not understanding attachment styles.
Instead of unconsciously swinging from one extreme to the other, now I’m on the path of learning secure attachment. … Continue readingAttachment Styles
Romantic relationships are great. Putting them over other relationships and getting all of our fulfillment and needs sourced from them: decidedly not. ❤️💀❤️💀❤️💀❤️💀❤️💀❤️💀 I was visiting family in Bangladesh in my teens when the first seeds were planted. The seeds of knowing the fundamental structure of (Western) society, the nuclear
Continue readingCommunity and The Reign of Romantic Relationships
I came across the idea of the “magical morning practice” during a rock bottom phase in my life. During this time I had zero structure: no job, no school, no commitments. (note: I don’t think rock bottom + zero commitments are synonymous all the time, as void periods can be
“If you have to be shiny and superior to matter, then eventually you won’t matter at all, even to yourself. But you do matter. You are lovable and you matter. You deserve love. So love yourself, even when you’re pimply and depressed, even when you’re no longer queen, and then
A lot of these could be a whole-ass post on their own. Hell, even the sub-points could be a post on their own. So, this is an overview, and is not a comprehensive list of “all the limiting beliefs out there”, but are mainly what I’ve come across. I’ve written
One day my friend was explaining to us cis folks about the cis gaze. “It’s this way that cis people have about staring at trans folks. You would probably understand, given how you experience the white gaze.” I was taken aback. Gears turned in my head. “Well… no. You have
✨Video yourself saying what you would say to X person. And this important–listen back to it after you’re done recording. In essence, you are witnessing yourself. ✨The classic write out the letter to what you want to say to the person. Then, burn it. (You can also send it. This
Continue readingMethods of Healing Old Grievances and Wounds