2018 was hands down the shittiest year of my life.
I had a toxic job, a toxic living situation, school sucked, and the friendship I had considered a soul-friendship was unravelling deeply.
I started waking up throwing up every couple of days and I had no idea why.
And no, I wasn’t pregnant. A year later, I got the insight: I was throwing up because I had internalized all of the toxicity that was surrounding me. The body always speaks to us in metaphors.
I thought everything was going to shit in my life because I had made all the wrong choices.
But now I see that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Everything was unravelling for my benefit.
To initiate me. To teach me that I don’t have to do or prove anything to be good enough because I already fucking am. To show me where the faulty programming was and rebuild it into a strong, resilient foundation.
Without everything falling apart, it would have been so easy to go on living my life while having major cracks in my foundation.
In 2019, I made the connection between my internal programming and external circumstances. I dived deep, processed my shit, got mentors, had tough conversations, and reprogrammed my wiring. Then I started teaching everything I had learned to others.
I started 2020 on the backbone of all the work I had done, and continued fine-tuning my shit, and stepping more and more into my power. I got into theta healing and the speed at which I cleared old stuff increased exponentially.
Now I look back at 2018 and see it as an epic and magical time that pushed me forward.
I also see that I wouldn’t have gone through such an intensely shitty time if I wasn’t a boss-ass bitch.
The most powerful people go through the most trying initiations.
Every lesson that I learned during that rock-bottom year, is one that I’ve later gone on to help someone else apply in their own life.
It is hard to see 💩 times in any other way than 💩 when you’re in the thick of it. (Like if someone tries to tell you it’s actually a magical time, you’ll probably want to slap them.)
So, if you’re in a shit time, I won’t tell you it’s a magical time. It’s only magical in hindsight, lol.
What I will tell you is to milk it for what it’s worth.
After all, poop has gold in it. (Like, actually. Look it up.)
Go inside and face what’s in your depths. Feel your emotions, through the body. Talk about the things you’re embarrassed or scared to talk about, with the right people. Get allies on your side. Uncondition yourself. Recondition yourself. Heal. Get in touch with your own discernment. Start to clearly see the broken world around for you what it is instead of internalizing its chaos.
Unless you want to remain in shit indefinitely and make an identity out of it… this is what you are being called to do. It’s exactly what I did to pull myself out.
There is no way I could have imagined that the rock-bottom of 2018 would directly lead to the most sustaining contentment I’ve ever known. And on top of that, deeply fulfilling work.
Trust, trust, that there is a larger picture to what you’re going through. The 💩 is not all there is.
It’s only there to tell you something important: that life can be better and sweeter.
🌟
Want a personal guide to lead you through the 💩 ? I’m your girl. I’ll show you how to turn poop into gold so you can #liveyourbestlife. For real. 😁
Schedule a consult and we’ll take it from there.
❤️
Photo Credit: Dennis Truong